Monday, October 19, 2009

We need to fight for speech and strength in the class-rooms


A few days ago, a friend of mine told me about an incident that happened while she was talking to her daughter. You can read about it here, but I will sum up:
Her seven-year old girl comes home from school one day and says:
- You know how boys know more than girls.
It is not a question, it is a plain statement, that nearly made my friend choke on her Mint tea.

Turns out that her daughter, who's up until now has been a normal, somewhat confident, somewhat self-conscious person, suddenly feels that she can't ask the teacher for help in school if she doesn't understand something, because, if she does, the boys will turn around and tease her by saying:
- What - you don't know that? That's easy!
Which subsequently has made this little girl assume that boys know more things than girls do.

My friend tells me this story and that's when I realize that I need to kick start this blog again.
I used to only write about the grown-up stuff; the imbalance between men and women, the skewed domestic work load, the marital injustice and the arguments. I didn't really write that much about the children.
I didn't write about our daughters. The next generation of beautiful mothers, wives and successful women who will just have to go on fighting the same battles as we do, if my friends story is anything to go by.

I spoke to my friend this morning and asked what happened, how did she resolve her daughter's statement.
- I spoke to the teacher. She moved the desks around in the class-room. All the girls are in one spot and all the boys together in another spot.

When my friend asked the teacher if she thought that the best way to curb the noisy boys from intimidating the girls in the class room was to divide them in to two separate camps the teacher said, Yes, absolutely. The girls will support each other against the boys and give each other confidence. They will become strong.

My question is: shouldn't we encourage children to work and play together in a mixed environment where they learn to respect each other rather than find faults with each other? Or should we just accept that boys will be boys and teach the girls that the only way they will survive in this society is by not straying away from your pack?
This might be a quick fix for the teacher. Maybe the class-room will become a calmer place, and teaching will become easier. But haven't we just re-inforced the foundation of the problem, rather than tried to solve it?

So, it dawned on me that it was time to dust of the blog and start venting again. Things are far from perfect, but I think a lot of women close their eyes and pretend that we have come a long way. That, compared with our mothers, our situation is so much better. Some of us still think we can have it all, and those of us who accept that we can't yet try to convince ourselves that maybe it wasn't meant to be. Instead of keep pushing forward until we can.
And weather we are furiously banging our heads against a brick wall, or happily turning away from the problem, life goes on and our children are right in the middle of all this.

We will need to fight parallel battles, one for ourselves and one for our daughters.

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