Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Magic fairy-request

I never thought that time would become such a commodity, and that I would be so ready and eager to trade it for almost anything else I own.
The thing is, I need time, and lot's of it. How on earth am I supposed to be able to do all the things I need to do before I get so old that my body will refuse my actions (believe me, at nearly 36, it's already happening)? I am probably not the first one to express a wish of cloning, or a desire to cut myself in half. I really do need to be in several places at the same time. We have playgroups, ballet practice, after-school, play-dates, swimming, my studies, his work, the odd dinner-party, the occasional concert, and a house that would benefit from some TLC.

At night, when the kids have gone to bed, I sit down, take a deep breath, and I start counting out loud all the things I have done, all the things I need to do, and all the things I really should do but don't have the energy for. My husband looks at me and tells me to stop being so hard on myself.
- You shouldn't put yourself under so much pressure. He says. You should take it easy. Take things a bit slowly.

I shoot him an evil look.
- Well, if I don't do them they won't get done, and they have to get done.
His mislaid sympathy annoys me. He means well, but I don't need to hear it. I need a magic fairy who will make it all better. How will give me more time and who will take over a substantial amount of the need-to's. A 'how to be a better, more efficient and yet loving towards my children-person' fairy.
Or a magic godmother. Or a house-gnome. Or whatever, I don't care, just, please, someone, let me get it all done before I crumble.

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