Taking Kate to her swimming lesson on Saturday mornings has become an issue of some arguments between me and my husband. It is something about having to wait around with the other parents that always puts us in a bad mood. Their kids are pushy, spoiled, whinging and bratty. They scream, talk back to their parents, and have pushed Leo of a play-structure more than once without ever getting reprimanded.
But the parents also seem to all come from a Stepford suburb.They are so far from natural, down-to-earth, chilled and laid-back that it is exhausting just listening to them interact.
To them, swim lesson seem to be a drill, a military operation, that needs to be managed and controlled by carefully used encouragements from the pool side.
I don't know why they need to use "the voice", why they have to talk REALLY LOUDLY or why they need to pronounce e-v-e-r-y- s-i-n-g-l-e word r-e-a-l-l-y- s-l-o-w-l-y.
Y-o-u-'-r-e k-i-d w-i-l-l u-n-d-e-r-s-t-a-n-d y-o-u - n-o n-e-e-d t-o s-h-o-u-t!

Then I realized, after having had a dad shout in my ear while he was talking to his daughter:
- You did some awesome up-faces today! Boy, it sure is crowded in here. Hey sugar-top. Let's go put on your bright sparkling t-shirt, sweet girl, and go have some fun in the park.
The sentence reads very innocent, I realize that. But add to that a voice so animated, so over-the-top-enthusiastic and so incredibly fake, you will wish that you were very far away.
There is only one place he could've picked it up from:
By watching Clifford the Big Red Dog.
Please - parent, don't copy your kid's cartoon. It's a children's show. Not a lesson on eloquence.
Use you're own language, and talk to your children like they are normal human beings - because they are. They live in the real world, amongst real people and you are not part of some dream-land fairy tale cartoon where you get to talk in a mock voice. Be yourself!