Monday, March 9, 2009

The things we do for love

There are about a thousand different reasons for why you shouldn't have children, all of them very good (I can think of only one good reason for why you should have them: they will be the biggest loves of your life, but that's a different matter). One such reason is: it f***s up your relationship!
I never thought two people in love could argue as much as me and my husband does since we decided to go down the baby-road, but there we are, screaming and shouting blue murder at each other and jumping at the chance of criticising each other, and poking each other and being as goddamn bloody disrespectful as we can possibly be, and all, because of our children.

And it's all because of that old cliche that having children will change your life forever.
Oh, it certainly will. You will no longer have more time to yourself than you know what to do with. You will never be able to be 100% spontaneous again. Your lie-ins will decrease dramatically and your love-life will take a hit. You won't be able to be fun and adventurous anymore.
All of you who have children knows that this isn't exactly true. You can still sleep in late on a Saturday. You can still steel and hour or two to go shopping, or have a coffee or what ever it is that you like to do, your love-life isn't gone for ever and technically, you can, should that be your thing, go trekking in the Himalayas or scuba-dive in the Maldives, because we all know: life does not end when you have kids.
It does, however, make it so much more difficult, and that's where the arguing enters the picture.

We have gone from being easy-going, fun-loving, laid-back, chilled out people to being constantly tetchy and irritated and ll because we have to manage our time and ourselves in such a strict way that it seems to take all the fun out of being alive. It's true, if you scratch under the surface of almost every single argument we have, Time is the number one reason for most of them. We simply don't have enough of it, and the little we have, we are pretty damn unlikely to share. So, while before, we were full of respect and eager to please each other, we have now transformed in to very selfish human beings.

I mean, who's turn is it to go for a run this Sunday? Who's turn is it to go out to dinner with friends? Who's turn is it to sleep an extra hour, and who's turn is it to read the whole Sunday newspaper undisturbed? That's often the extent of our arguments.
All thanks to our two lovely little children who we love and cherish and would like to bring up together, as a couple, not as separated ex's.

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