Monday, March 8, 2010

Couples maths

A friend of mine is going through a rough marital patch and has turned to couple's counseling.
- The worst thing is, I always felt that counseling was the first stop on the way towards the inevitable end, she says. It's like we're just giving ourselves a grace period because we're too chicken to take the finally step, too scared to face the truth. And ultimately, I think we actually both would like to go our separate ways.
They have two children in private school, and only one income. They live in a decent single family house that they are paying a big mortgage on, and the kids take a number of after school activities.

- The best thing for us would be to separate, and live apart, so that our arguing doesn't interfere with the kids all the time, but we simply can't afford it. We have to work this out. It's a financial cul de sac. We're spending a shed load of money to stay together because we can't afford to spend any money to move apart. Never mind the kids having their parents in the same house - this is cold, hard cash we're talking about.

So you paid for the over the top wedding, probably spending a little more than you could realistically afford on the caterer and the flower arrangements, and then you went all out on the family abode, now you are being punished for your audacity to be a little extravagant, and 'til love do us part is really just another way of saying: you made your financial bed now sleep in it you sucker.
So the best financial investment you can do as a family is to not make any financial investments, that way you can afford to have second thoughts somewhere down the road, should it not work out.
As for my friend, she's seeing the therapist once a week until she can't afford to any longer. By then she's keeping her fingers crossed that they can be civil enough to keep it together until the kids are in college.

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